WHERE DOES THE TIME GO??

    I just happened to end up on my blog site today accidentally! I was typing in a website and my blog site came up so I curiously clicked on it and began to read my 3 yes just 3 posts over the past 2 years!! I honestly had good intentions when I started my blog but they obviously fell through... it did however make me wonder WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS ALL THE TIME GONE???? Also while reminiscing through those 3, yes only 3 blogs, I began to realize how much has changed (and how much hasn't changed that I thought would) in 2 years!

    In my first blog I explained how one day I would go potty all by myself along with both of my children being potty trained. I am happy to announce that we are officially a diaper free home!! Matty handles her business completely on her own with all doors shut and NO ONE is to enter! Micah is a little less private about his business and prefers the open door policy in which he also likes to announce to everyone ALL that is taking place within his restroom experience! Despite their differences in approach they are both diaper free and "going potty by themselves''!! I can honestly say it all happened way faster then I envisioned while writing my first blog! Like I said, where did the time go? I woke up with an almost 3yr old and a 4yr old in my house this morning....I was living with a 10mth old and a 2yr old in that first blog!!! I was cleaning highchairs...we no longer have a highchair in our home! I was talking to toddlers at lunch, today I ate lunch alone because my children were at preschool!!! In my first blog I found myself plagued with visitors to the restroom while I was in there, I have to say my visitors to the bathroom are very rare these days (with the exception to the cat, he for some reason believes he belongs in the bathroom with anyone that goes in)!!

     Like I previously mentioned several things have changed. My kids are potty trained, my kids are verbal, my kids go to preschool, love to swim (they hated water 2yrs ago), love to play outside, love their friends and family, in a nutshell: my kids have grown from babies to kids since that first blog!! They went from diapers to undies from highchairs to big chairs at the table, they went from spending 24/7 with mommy to going to school and enjoying time with friends and other family members! Micah wasn't even walking in my first blog!!! He had yet to have his first haircut!! Matty was still in diapers, still in a highchair, still roughing through those "terrible twos"! Micah is now running and climbing and speaking in sentences (most of which I can understand). He goes to school and interacts with friends! Matty completely dresses herself, potties by herself, gets into the van, buckles, and closes her door all by HERSELF (she's always been the independent type), she is starting to read, she also goes to school and even has friends that she knows by name! She even played her first season of t-ball this year and ended up loving it (a nice surprise for a mommy that loved and played softball most of her life)! Really...WHERE HAS ALL THE TIME GONE?? I feel like I have blinked and 2yrs have rushed by since that first blog!!

     A few things haven't changed since that blog 2yrs ago. I truly thought I would be well on my way to my masters by now, unfortunately this Mama can't figure out what she wants to be when she grows up! I have an awesome opportunity thanks to the G.I Bill to go back to school to get my master's...only problem...once I use it then its gone...I am feeling the pressure to choose and choose wisely and I have always sort of been a  "Jack of all trades but master of none" kind of gal. I can usually, sometimes awkwardly, but usually nonetheless fumble my way through most things that come before me. I have yet to really find anything that truly excites me (with the exception of being a mom...I absolutely LOVE that role in my life). I have explored a few options from creative writing to nutrition to counseling but so far I haven't found anything that has fully panned out. I think my ADD might be getting in the way...I can't COMMIT!! I am afraid something better might come along and it will be too late...so I sit...and I wait...and I look...and I find...and I get super excited...and then I procrastinate....so I miss a deadline...so then I sit...and I look...and I find something else...and I get super excited...and then I procrastinate....yeah you get the picture!!! Why are decisions so hard to make as an adult? 

     Despite my inability to choose a career path for my middle aged years, I haven't been completely stagnant. My outsides look a lot like they did 2yrs ago (same t-shirts, same disheveled approach to my hair, same flip flops, and same jeans, black shorts, etc. depending on season) but my insides have grown with my children. Every birthday or holiday or milestone that passes reminds me that this time with my kids is short lived. It won't be long till I come back to this blog and find it nothing but a memory! Not every day is easy, not every day is hard, but there is only 24hrs in every day and I only have so many of those days on this planet. I may not know what I want to do next but I do know that right now I am a mom, I know that these kids have changed me for the better, I hope to see them grow into amazing adults with kids that intrude on them in the bathroom one day, I also know that I am not promised to see that! I know that for my kids to remember me tomorrow I have to be there today. I am not going to say to enjoy every day with your kids because that's just not life. Some days flat out suck as a mom...you feel inadequate...you feel ugly...you feel fat...your child is THAT child throwing the huge temper tantrum in Target...you worry...you fret...you are puked on pooped on and snotted on...you are a  MOM!!! We all go thru it...we all try to pretend that we don't (if you don't then please by all means feel free to leave me a few tips)...but truth be...we are all kind of in this together...we are given these little helpless beings and it is our job to grow them into decent adults in a world that is a little less than decent! Hang in there moms and keep moving forward...embrace (don't feel like you have to CHERISH) the bumps along the way...enjoy the good days and find a good friend and a glass of wine for the bad ones!